And just like that... you’ve gone from a small B to a 32DD. The last thing you remember is breathing through a giant oxygen mask and counting backwards from 10—except now you feel super groggy and your head is swimming.
After saying something to the nurse that would probably embarrass you under any other circumstances, you’ll look down and notice your chest is wrapped up like a mummy.
You’ll start thinking things like...
“Holy crap, I have boobs!” “Oh no, what have I done?!” “Am I drooling?” “Boobs!” usually in that order, but sometimes in reverse.
Then it will start to hit you... a burning sensation and/or pressure on your chest from the operation. Some people don’t experience much pain upon waking up, but it was pretty bad for me. It really varies from person to person.
The nurse will ask you a few questions and will likely give you a couple saltine crackers as a reward for making it through the procedure. If you’re really good, she will give you an extra dose of nausea medication and a peppermint to keep in your mouth which will somehow ended up in your hair on the car ride home.
But don’t worry, you’ll find it again on day 3.
Some plastic surgeons will require you to stay overnight, but most will have you in and out over the course of about 3 hours. Staying overnight or heading straight home are both acceptable options in my opinion, though I wish I had stayed at the clinic for a couple of hours.
After the 2 mile car ride to my hotel, my husband was rolling me into our room and I ended up vomiting all over myself. It was pretty awesome. I was even prepared with a plastic bag to puke into, but the double-vision from the anesthesia deceived me. I had a 50/50 shot, but I obviously picked the wrong bag.
Once my husband got me cleaned up, he wheeled me over to the bed where a 45° foam pad awaited me.
Side note: I’ve always wondered if housekeeping came into the room while we weren’t there and saw my foam pad. It had to have looked like some kind of sexual device that I just couldn’t leave home without.
Remember to take your time in making all the different transfers... wheelchair to car, car to wheelchair, wheelchair to bed, etc. Sit down gently on your bed and let your Boobie Buddie support your back to lower and pivot you onto your foam mat and the throne of pillows you hopefully already built and tested out. The fewer of your own muscles you have to use, the better.
Final Tip: Once you’re laid up in the bed, be sure to ask for anything you need in order to be more comfortable. I asked my husband to light a candle for me, get me a drink of water, and then to blow the candle out. I don’t recommend “pumpkin spice” right after your procedure, because pumpkin spice + anesthesia = raw sewage.