So, you’ve booked the date and you’re already started crossing off the days on your calendar until the day of your breast implant surgery.
First of all, congratulations on the decision! It is a big step. And it’s a step that you should feel happy about. No doubt it’s been quite an emotional journey to get to this point.
I often hear the phrase:
“I’m so happy I’m getting my surgery but....”
While the ‘but’ usually varies, the one I want to focus on here is: how do I tell the person I’m dating I’m having surgery?
Dating in the Lead up to Surgery
Our lives are full of exciting twists and turns. Adding dating in to the mix adds another dimension to your breast aug journey.
Let’s say you’ve just started dating someone new. You’re in that exciting getting-to-know-each-other phase. Things may or may not be physical yet but you have questions flying around inside your head “should I tell him about my surgery?” “what will he think?” “what will I do if he's not on board with my decision?”.
First and foremost look at that last question again... hone in on the last bit... “my decision”. Bingo! This is your decision. While I wholeheartedly advocate giving a significant other a voice in your decision to get breast implants, if you’re in the early stages of a relationship this journey is pretty much just about you.
To Tell or Not to Tell? That Is the Question
This is totally your decision... if you tell, who you tell and how much you tell them.
In the beginning of a relationship it can feel like first instinct to hide the more personal aspects of your life. If you think the person you’re dating has long-term potential you’ll likely be thinking about sharing with them that you’re getting breast implants.
You could start by asking them what their views on cosmetic surgery are. You’re obviously hoping they come back with something supportive. If they step up to the plate, that gives you your opener to tell them about your upcoming surgery.
Before you get to this point though it’s worth asking yourself these three key questions in advance and you’ll be prepared for some of the questions they may have:
1. Why do you want to get breast implants?
There are so many reasons why women choose to get breast implants. Getting your own personal rationale clear in your head will help others understand it from your perspective (if you choose to tell them).
2. How long have you wanted to get breast implants?
There’s no right or wrong answer to this. My experience is that most people have wanted breast implants for a number of years and that helps others understand this isn’t a decision you’ve made on a whim.
3. What’s the best thing you’re imagining after your surgery?
This links in with the first question. For me it was body confidence... filling out your clothes, wearing a bikini with confidence and feeling proportionate. I can promise you my expectations here were definitely met!
The Best Possible Reaction
So, it’s all gone well... you’ve brought them up to speed and they’re totally on board. At this point it’ll all feel like a big relief no doubt. Enjoy this time communicating and opening up to this new person in your life. Hopefully they’ll get excited with you about what’s ahead and be a great source of support to help you through your recovery.
But What If They’re Not on Board?
If you decide to tell the person you’re dating about your implant surgery you have to be prepared for the possibility that their reaction may not be the all-embracing acceptance you are hoping for. Yes, there are some people who are very anti-cosmetic surgery. If the person you’re dating turns out to be one of these they’re not going to give you the support you need through the next step in your journey. For many of us the decision we’ve made to get breast implants has been a long, considered process and it’s one you should be able to stand by proudly.
What If I Decide to Say Nothing?
And now you’re probably thinking should I say anything at all? Some people find it easier to keep their upcoming surgery separate from dating. If the person you’re dating doesn’t have long term potential in your eyes that seems like a reasonable approach.
On the simplest level, I’d recommend staying away from lying about it. There are many people I didn’t tell about my journey but I didn’t make up lies. The point at which staying quiet would become trickier is if you see the person you’re dating during your early recovery period. I didn't tell a lot of people about my first breast augmentation and I didn't make up excuses on why I couldn't do something when I was recovering. I simply declined the invite.
Will They Be Able to Tell?
Dating though also throws in to the mix a question we haven’t yet considered: will they be able to tell I’ve had breast implants? Put quite simply, if they’ve seen you naked before your surgery then YES they will be able to tell! If you’ve chosen not to say anything before you need to be prepared for an interesting conversation afterwards. Lies have very short legs and sooner or later they’d end up wondering why you didn’t just tell them the truth.
If you don’t want to open up it may be time to ask yourself why. And if it’s because you’re worried about being judged it may be worth figuring out why you’re afraid of their judgment.
Your Investment in You
Whatever you decide in the lead up to your surgery (to tell or not to tell) stand by your decision to get breast implants with pride. This is an investment you are about to make in yourself, so surround yourself with people who support you. And remember, you can say as much or as little as you want about this. It’s your decision.