Telling people about my reasoning for getting breast implants is normally not a big deal for me...
I rarely plan out my words or wait with baited breath to hear someones response. I’m proud of my decision, and what others think of that choice is not a big concern of mine.
There is one person who is quite an exception to that thought...
I know I will choose my words very carefully when I talk to my kids about sex, death, money, conflict and a host of other topics... Not because those things are simply good or bad, but because they are complex. At the top of my list of hard conversations is body image.
Learning to have a positive view of my body was a difficult journey for me.
Because I want to teach my daughter to love the person she is and the body that carries that person around, there are a few conversations that I want to be well prepared for.
"Mommy, why do you wear makeup?"
"Can I have tattoos too?"
“What are Spanx?”
“Mommy, why did you get breast implants?”
I know the answer to that question, and it’s a good one. But there is weight and importance in the way I want to communicate that answer to her.
Many of you, like me, first got breast implants before having children. You and I will have the luxury of telling our kids about our procedure when we feel like it’s age appropriate. Some of you, however, are getting breast implants during a time where your kids are old enough to notice the “before and after”, and may be forced to explain things a little earlier.
Today, I’ve put together some ideas on how to approach this subject. Some are my opinions, but I’ve also pulled from the expertise of therapists and world-class plastic surgeons.
Honesty with Older Kids
You might find it easier if you break the ice with your older child or teenager about your breast augmentation. Waiting until they overhear a conversation or notice whats going on, might just catch you off guard.
The advice of one child therapist was to sit your kids down, make a simple statement, and then open the floor for questions. “I’m going to have a surgery done that will make my breasts larger. It is a common and safe procedure, and I’m very happy about my decision. I’d love to answer any questions you have about that.”
You might be surprised by what they ask, but remember that if they are mature enough to come up with the question, they are probably mature enough for the answer.
Little Kids Deserve the Truth Too
There’s nothing more insulting to me than being lied to because it was assumed that I couldn’t handle the truth. I still remember as a child, being told typical fibs that adults tell kids, and then finding out I had been duped.
While not everything about a breast augmentation is appropriate for a 3-7 year old to hear, there are still plenty of truths to be shared.
A lie could really bite you in the butt!
I heard a woman once say that after her breast augmentation, she had told her little boy that she simply had a mole removed. He asked for prayer at church the next Sunday for his mom, who had gotten a mole removed and it accidentally made her boobies bigger.
Children are so perceptive and by appeasing their curiosity with some honest facts about whats going on, you could save yourself a lot embarrassment.
Ask For Their Help
In general, kids like to help. Let them know ahead of time about your physical limitations and charge them with the noble task of being your helper. Whether it’s taking care of a little sibling or running errands around the house, let them be an MVP on your team.
Don’t forget to praise their hard work in front of grandparents or daddy. Public affirmation is the greatest reward!
Remember That This is a Good Thing
While this is a serious conversation, don’t forget to relay your excitement!
Maybe before bringing the subject up, you could take a minute to remind yourself that you love your body for getting you this far and for all the things it will continue to get you through.
Our goal is to teach our children to have a healthy body image. We want them to make powerful, not shameful, choices with their bodies and this is an excellent example of just that.
A smile on your face and a sparkle in your eye will speak far louder than any words that come out of your mouth.